Police repeatedly interrupts local pornstar during auditions

by Ahmed Satellite


Local law enforcement were called "an annoying nuisance” by Maldives’ first-ever porn star, after being repeatedly interrupted during one of his audition sessions last Wednesday night.

The pioneer of the local adult movie industry -- who shot to nationwide fame after distributing/leaking a homemade sex video depicting him trying really hard and unsuccessfully to get some penetration action going with his wife -- told Bakhabaru reporters that he had been repeatedly interrupted by the Maldives Police Service while conducting auditions and undress rehearsals with two hopeful girls at a hotel in Male’.

“Supposedly the Police were looking for some drug addicts the first time around,” the well-known personality told Bakhabaru reporters. “I told them that we didn’t have any drugs on us at the moment and that strip searching us would be kinda moot seeing as we were already stripped, as it were, and that it would be easier if they just went looking for a dealer instead of trying to bust some junkie and stealing his stash. I thought they had taken my advice but after a few minutes they knocked again a second time, just as I had managed to coax the little guy out to around two inches in length. You must know that is quiet an achievement for me, right?”

He said that the second time the Police had been looking for alcoholics.

“I told them I didn’t know any drunks and that I wasn’t drunk either and then they asked me to prove it by er… performing with one of the girls while reciting the alphabet backwards,” he said. “I obliged but having an audience right there was sort of distracting. After several tries I finally managed to get it in but at that moment one of the other officers found an alcohol bottle or something stashed in a dustbin somewhere in the hotel and they rushed off to celebrate.”

With the officers gone, he had begun to really get down by getting it up finally. Unfortunately, he had been interrupted a third time just as he had managed to locate his dick which he had somehow managed to misplace inside several layers of condoms.

“Yeah, the other girl wanted me to wear a condom… um several condoms,” he explained. “What happened was I had finally managed to get it in and was having a good bumpy ride when she looked back and asked ‘is it in?’. That was just nasty! Anyway, so the other girl thought it would be a good idea to wear several condoms… just to add some thickness, ya know. So I dashed off to a nearby pharmacy and had just returned when there was another knock.

“I opened the door wearing nothing but several condoms and inquired if they were looking for raving lunatics now and the Police guy says ‘haai! we were jusht looking *hic* to shee if anyone was being graped *hic* sorry roped... raped, dats da one, raped. Have you sheen any shuspishus… *urp* anyone being draped in here?’. I told him no, but then he insisted (ok, maybe threw a tantrum would be more accurate) on getting a grand tour of my room so I gave it to him. Afterwards he left, satisfied that there was no groping of any kind going on and that everything was consensual and arrested the dustbin on the way out, just in case.”

The porn star further said that by the time Police knocked at the door for the fourth time, he had completely lost his patience: the condoms hadn’t worked and the girls were yawning so hard the top of their heads seemed to be in danger of toppling off. So he had snapped at the officers and called them an annoying nuisance before slamming the door in their faces.

“How’s a guy to get it up or even perform with all this… er coitus interruptus going on, eh! I’m thinking of filing a complaint. If this is how they treat celebs like us just imagine how they would treat ordinary citizens. I’m definitely going to file a complaint against them,” the star told Bakhabaru reporters. "This was supposed to be my great cum-back (har har) movie. A worthy sequel to my first effort. But they just ruined it, the annoying bastards!"

When asked about the incident, Police said that the dustbin had been released after a urine test had shown negative results for drugs, alcohol and urine.