Overheard at the President's Office

by Abdulla Bluetooth

“MUNDHOO! Where are you, Mundhooo?”

“Coming, O beloved master!”

“Mundhu, quick! Give me your hands!”

“Here you go, O mighty hand holder!”

“Thanks… AAATCHHOOOO!!!”

“Er… why did you sneeze into my hands, O sultan of the irritated nostrils?”

“You know I always put a hand over my mouth and nose when I sneeze.”

“Right you are, sir.”

“So what’s on the agenda today, faithful Mundhu?”

“Well, we still need you to approve the new posters promoting the Riyasee system. This is the final day before voting begins and we need to give it the final big push as the MDP will also be doing everything in their power too. Here’s the design. Sweet huh?”

“Garish, but considering the voters, absolutely appropriate. Consider it approved. You still think it would be unwise to include the tagline “Father of the Riyaasee system” in the advertisement?”

“Yes, O exalted chief. I still think so.”

“Very well, and the distribution methods?”

“Same as before: we litter every road in Male except for the road in front of the Presidential Palace with these until they look like the dustbins in the offices of Enron. We shall also paste it on every wall, window, car, cycle and inert pedestrian.”

“Excellent, faithful lackey. Remind me to talk about the wrongness of littering and the dwindling rainforests in my next speech. It would make an excellent speech coming from the Father of Environment.”

“I live to serve, O generous one!”

“How is the petition to include my wondrous self in the New Seven Wonders of the World coming along?”

“Not as well as we hoped. As you know they refused to even enter you in the list.”

“I don’t understand it. I am more wonderful than anything on the stupid list aren’t I?

“You are, O wondrous chief.”

“I mean take for example the stupid wall of China. What in my name is it even doing on the list? It was a total flop from an engineering perspective, and it never managed to keep any invading armies out. Yet they think it’s a wonder? It’s a wonder how it ever got onto the short list while I was right here.”

“I hear that the Great Wall of China is the only man-made object visible from the moon, O uninformed one. (Although many believe that's not entirely true either).”

“Then let those living on the moon select it as a wonder. Last I checked we were talking about the Seven Wonders for people of the Earth. You won’t have to go to the moon to see Maumoon. Har har! I made a funny! Anyway, I’m right here. Mundhu, it's obvious you aren’t doing your job properly. Argue these points and get me named as one of the Seven Wonders of the World, pronto. I’m likely older than all the current seven wonders combined; that probably is enough cause for me to be on the list!”

“Yes, O ageless wonder. I will get right on it.”

“I need this Mundhu; my self-esteem is at an all time low at the moment. If I make that list I will be a shoo-in to be elected as the next Prime Minister or President of Maldives. If by some quirk of nature you are not able to get me on the list, try to get me listed as Father of the Seven Wonders instead. I like the sound of that. What else can I be the Father of?”

“Er… Farish?”

“Brilliant!”