Maldivian politics temporarily disrupts World Cup

by Ahmed Satellite
The whole country nearly took up arms yesterday when the drama-queens at the local watering hole known as the Parliament Building staged a mass resignation. Maldivians all over the country nearly had massive coronaries when they realized that this new twist in the latest episode of the longtime running Kasauti Majlis Kee series could mean that the all important World Cup matches might not be shown LIVE, as they should be.

Police, the Cub Scouts, school bands and the army were immediately dispatched around the country to quell any disturbances that might potentially arise but that was proven to be totally unnecessary when the matches were broadcast LIVE as previously scheduled. It is unknown at present what had prompted the drama-queens of the Majlis to resign but is generally believed that it was the shock of finding something that they ALL actually agreed on for a change had prompted the action. Others argue that it was a bet that had gone out of control.

“I actually overheard one of the MPs say that if Italy couldn't make it past the group matches then he would resign, and that’s how confident he was of Italy’s chances,” a random person on the road told Bakhabaru reporters. “And then this other MP said: ‘You wouldn’t dare! If you did I’ll resign too. That’s how sure I am that you won't resign!’ Then everyone began taking that bet! It was a really wild night!”

When asked about it President Anni said that he believed that there had been many mistakes made during the last few days that had let to the current situation.

“First it was France that got booted out, and then Italy too,” he told Bakhabaru reporters. “Mostly I believe it was the fault of the officials. They just made too many mistakes and they were unforgivable because all they had to do was look at the bloody big screen TV at the stadiums and check the replays. If they are that blind they have no business refereeing such important matche… er the what now?”

After the momentary confusion was cleared he responded: “The Cabinet resigned? WTF? Which one? The dark brown one? It can do that? Why doesn’t anyone tell me these things? I’ll get back to you on this later. Spain still hasn’t managed to score against Portugal.”