A man wearing an ugly-yellow-tie won the first MDP primary held in the country by a landslide, much to the surprise of the man wearing the ugly-yellow-tie and standing next to the landslide.
“It’s so unexpected!” the man wearing the ugly-yellow-tie told Bakhabaru reporters in an exclusive interview with someone or other. “I have said it before and I say it again that I have no interest in being the President of the Maldives… but would they listen to me? Nah! This is so unexpected. I would like to thank the Academy and Ali Rameezso.”
Two others, both of them not wearing ties but pissed-off expressions, competed for the position that will allow them to square off against President Chotey, the incumbent father of Maldives, in the upcoming Presidential elections. Former famous actor and current President-hopeful-whose-hopes-were-dashed Reeko Moosa Manik said that he had been really looking forward to winning because it would have finally given him the chance to give a speech which he was supposed to have given a movie that had never been made and in which he had won the Presidential elections. MDP President Dr. Munawwar on the other hand said mutter mutter, grumble grumble, frikking hypocrite and snort!
President Chotey had earlier said that he wouldn’t start his presidential campaign yet because of blah blah blah and yaketty yakkety yak but said that that he fully supported the campaign by the man wearing the ugly-yellow-tie.
“It’s perfect for him,” President Chotey told Bakhabaru reporters when they met in the little boys’ room at the Presidential Palace. “I’m for anything that will help Anni live cleaner. Hygiene is very important to me and if it takes a whole effing campaign to make him finally take a shower, then I say go for it!”
The man in the ugly-yellow-tie had earlier made some choice comments on President Chotey’s campaign logo. The campaign logo was unveiled by President Chotey despite the fact that he has not begun his campaign yet.
“It’s a very fitting logo,” the man in the ugly-yellow-tie said of President Chotey’s campaign logo. “He has always had this policy of saying “talk to the hand, the face isn’t listening” to the citizens of Maldives. Now he’s being really honest about it finally. I fully support his stance on being honest for a change.”
Officials at Dhiraagu had at first protested against President Chotey’s campaign logo, claiming plagiarism. However, after some of their senior officials mysteriously disappeared or woke up in jail they have not followed through with the promised lawsuit.