Mundhu to be tutored by Mini Van News on Gayoom's emotional state

by Ali Antenna

Mini Van News, the third most reliable source (after Bakhabaru and DO) to reliably assess the emotional state of President Maumoon Abdul Gayoom at any given time, has agreed to share their experiences and provide tips to Presidential Spokesperson Mundhu in an effort to make his job easier.

Responding to a letter to Mini Van News sent in by Mundhu in which he had expressed that his job would be "exponentially easier" if he had their talents, the third most popular English online news source in Maldives (after DO and Bakhabaru) agreed to share their vast resources and experiences. Mundhu had previously requested such help from Bakhabaru and Dhivehi Observer's Editor Sappe. Sappe, a jealous demi-god, had refused to share the secret of his omniscience, forcing Mundhu to regularly visit DO in order to assess the mental and emotional state of President Gayoom.

At the risk of being labeled secretive and petty, Bakhabaru had also refused to share their secrets with a person so close to the President, citing that it could compromise their top-level sources. Bakhabaru believes that it was Bakhabaru's refusal that had forced Mundhu to risk asking for help from third-best.

This is the first time that a Presidential Spokesperson has had to undergo such training and all seven sides of the political spectrum will be monitoring the situation very closely to see if they could squeeze out a few tips from the procedure.

Paul Roberts in London told Bakhabaru that they were preparing a special room equipped with video equipment, a few spoons and various other implements for the training to take place in.

"I can't divulge to which use the equipment we have gathered will be put to," he said. "But it's essential for the training. All our reporters have undergone it and now look at them. They know Gayoom's moods and emotional state long before he himself realizes it. This will be of great help to Mundhu and we are excited to have him in training. Of course he will not be able to share what he learns here with anyone else. This will be our little secret."

Paul Roberts in London also denied that Mini Van News had any "Nostradamus-like powers", like the kind that Sappe is rumoured to posses, especially when Gayoom is out of the country.

"There is no one like Sappe," Paul Roberts in London said. "Associating or likening anyone to Sappe could possibly be blasphemous and result in a loud clap of thunder and empty shoes with smoke coming out of it."