tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24433796423206619482012-01-21T11:33:16.724+05:00The ultimate source for your irreverent news on MaldivesBakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.comBlogger981100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-23733892003990997542011-03-09T13:21:00.001+05:002011-03-09T13:21:29.791+05:00

by Mohamed Headset   St. Fareed, one of the most well-known Gatekeepers of Hell, is preparing to give a final “Ultimate” show to the people of the Maldives before departing back to Hell to resume his duties at the Fiery Gates. He said that since this would be his “Ultimate Final” show, it would be the most epic! “Like nothing the world has ever seen or will again,” he promised. Speaking to

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-49842938212627379302010-10-10T09:34:00.000+05:002010-10-11T09:34:20.809+05:00

And now for something entirely different from our spanking new roving reporter, Ahmed Widescreen! So you are at an intersection waiting for the light to go green. The day is hot and ever so bright. You only want to curse that bastard who came up with the silly idea of waiting turns to cross an intersection under the bloody hot sun. Then your mind wanders, whether you should find a

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-41765049654763385762010-07-09T20:07:00.003+05:002010-07-09T22:20:40.664+05:00

by Aishath Antenna After just about having had enough of the local drama, Sri Lanka President Mahinda Rajapaksa – who singlehandedly beat the Tamil Tigers’ collective terrorist ass – had to make an impromptu visit to the Maldives to give a short but sweet lesson in democracy and statesmanship to the Maldivian politicians. Recipients of Rajapaksa’s lesson were President Anni (who got an hour

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-38876815483701988982010-06-30T11:01:00.003+05:002010-06-30T11:10:38.920+05:00

by Ahmed Satellite The whole country nearly took up arms yesterday when the drama-queens at the local watering hole known as the Parliament Building staged a mass resignation. Maldivians all over the country nearly had massive coronaries when they realized that this new twist in the latest episode of the longtime running Kasauti Majlis Kee series could mean that the all important World Cup

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-40316327390674059142010-06-05T10:02:00.000+05:002010-06-05T10:02:35.499+05:00

After the embarrassing dismal and lame response to the previous Funny Caption Contest, we seriously considered never ever having a Funny Caption Contest ever again. But this picture was just too good to pass up. So here we go again. See if the two of you who actually visit this blog once or twice a year can actually come up with something even slightly humorous this time. What's that? Winners of

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-18222074244705611692010-05-16T16:30:00.000+05:002010-05-16T16:30:09.051+05:00

by Ahmed Satellite President Anni has announced that he is following through on the brilliant idea he had after falling off a tree in Muleeaage and landing on his head. In his most recent radio address, President Anni happily announced his plans to welcome hardened criminals to Maldives. “Since we have such a great record of keeping dangerous criminals off the streets and behind bars, locked

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-63858552467941541542010-02-27T09:35:00.000+05:002010-02-27T09:35:13.752+05:00

Here ya go. Send in some funny captions for a chance to win lots and lots of prizes!!! Magic shop or garage, you decide.

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-13638162024536346982010-02-20T15:01:00.002+05:002010-02-20T15:03:55.615+05:00

by Ismail Network The Himandhoo School board of North Ari Atoll Himandhoo has decided to change their school uniform as the attire currently worn by students did not reflect the image the school wanted to portray. While at it, they have also decided to eliminate the need for students to buy so many books on so many subjects by condensing their whole syllabus into one book. ”It would be far more

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-87026657867201523902010-02-18T12:02:00.001+05:002010-02-20T08:09:02.170+05:00

by Ahmed Satellite After refusing to comment to the media about the gifts he received on St Fareed’s Day, the Saint himself later contacted Bakhabaru in order to give his thanks to those responsible for the “lovely presents”. “It was with great pleasure I inhaled the scent of the panties, only to find that they were, in most cases, brand new,” St Fareed told Bakhabaru reporters. “However, after

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-55875032921800922162010-01-31T00:20:00.005+05:002010-01-31T00:27:11.996+05:00

by Ahmed Satellite Local law enforcement were called "an annoying nuisance” by Maldives’ first-ever porn star, after being repeatedly interrupted during one of his audition sessions last Wednesday night. The pioneer of the local adult movie industry -- who shot to nationwide fame after distributing/leaking a homemade sex video depicting him trying really hard and unsuccessfully to get some

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-60011383521697923892009-12-12T16:46:00.004+05:002009-12-12T19:10:28.224+05:00

by Mohamed Headset Scientific tests done on several heads of states, countries, and groups have proven without a shadow of doubt that President Anni is very likely a hot-headed human being and pretty to boot. The results of the scientific tests were revealed in a research journal titled “Hotheads of States” (or was that “Hottest Heads of State”?) and President Anni soundly thrashed USA

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-92147015454654216462009-10-17T15:01:00.001+05:002009-10-17T15:04:38.661+05:00

by Mohamed Headset Just minutes after the world’s first underwater Cabinet meeting concluded in Maldives today, a press release was issued by the office of the former president Maumoon Abdul Gayoom, stating that once he returned to power he would hold a “sky-boarding, extreme cricketing Cabinet meeting over Malé”. Apparently, the former President wasn’t in the least bit impressed or envious

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-86558644993884145912009-10-14T12:53:00.002+05:002009-10-14T13:09:45.200+05:00

by Ahmed Satellite In a surprisingly unexpected revelation, the Ministry of Islamic Affairs has admitted that some of their staff were being “influenced” or “swayed” by the un-Islamic literature seized from missionaries and evangelists. A spokesperson for the currently religiously-confused Ministry, who wished to remain anonymous as his name was also at the moment teetering between Arabic and

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-22618114554423223862009-09-20T13:08:00.002+05:002009-10-09T15:57:49.251+05:00

Special report brought to you from underwater by Legacy of Pain, special liaison to “Bakhabaru’s Team Extreme – Going where the hand of reporters have never set foot on!” EDITOR’S NOTE: Due to the explicit language used in this article, parental guidance is recommended – since it’s always funnier and more enjoyable to experience swearing in the presence of parents. A press conference was held

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-86187581021544098782009-09-15T21:25:00.001+05:002009-09-15T21:30:43.588+05:00

Stolen from The Voice Original article by Ahmed RushdieSeveral months ago, after watching Amjad “Amjay” Ibrahim’s so-called “horror movie” Guest House: Room 201 at Olympus cinema, I thought to myself that the main problem with the movie – other than the atrocious directing and numerous technical failures – was that the story was… well to put it bluntly, plain stupid. It occurred to me that if

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-26146173100918625472009-09-14T18:52:00.003+05:002009-09-14T19:32:27.698+05:00

By Mohamed HeadsetThe Maldives National Defence Farce (YEMYENDEEYEFF) issued a statement today, stating that they were launching a special operation to arrest random people off the streets and at homes to be tested to see how accurately they could recall what the YEMYENDEYEFF building looks like.“As you know it is highly illegal to take pictures of our top secret military headquarters near

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-55734959407114153702009-08-04T07:33:00.005+05:002009-08-04T07:48:18.257+05:00

by Ismail NetworkIn a desperate attempt to fulfill at least one of their campaign promises, Vice President Dr Mohamed Waheed has implored the Scout Association of Maldives and Scout Movement to find a solution to the widespread drugs problem in Maldives.Speaking at the inauguration function of the World Organisation of the Scout Movement's Asia-Pacific Regional Workshop on Public Relations and

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-55944398045943973822009-06-28T22:08:00.004+05:002009-06-29T08:19:24.847+05:00

By Ali/Aishath AntennaFollowing the announcement that the Islamic Affairs Ministry was closing down all the designated women’s mosques in the country in order to cut expenses, the Ministry has said that it is now deliberating on whether to take it one step further and close down all the men’s mosques in the country as well in order to cut down costs even further.“The truth is that all these

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-86701115641223393402009-05-07T20:32:00.001+05:002009-05-07T20:38:50.077+05:00

By Ahmed Satellite A study conducted by local experts have found that the number of deaths caused by street violence in Maldives in the last 12 months is now higher than the average number of Maldivians who died per year as a direct result of the former President’s tyrannical dictatorship. The study also offers a slight delay to give readers some time to digest the above information. The

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-11059302402013251452009-05-05T20:15:00.001+05:002009-05-05T20:15:51.975+05:00

by Ismail Network World-famous scientists from Maldives have made a startling discovery that has startled the world-famous scientists from Maldives. After several decades of research, hard work, the occasional haircut, bathroom break and some amount of pain, the scientists found that the amount of religious knowledge and wisdom gained by a person was directly proportional to the thickness,

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-90857221196059435432009-03-30T11:53:00.004+05:002009-10-04T17:18:47.747+05:00

by Ahmed SatelliteHot off the spectacular success of the recent Friday prayer for rain – which yielded a thimble-full of rainwater and was centered over some of the Adhaalath sheikhs’ heads -- DJ Majeed has assured the fascinated public that more hilariously embarrassing situations for the AP were on the way.“The prayer was a success, there’s no two ways about it,” DJ Majeed told Bakhabaru

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-54386098214004432722009-03-05T18:24:00.001+05:002009-03-05T18:24:50.692+05:00

Mohamed Headset morphs into a turtle, a crab, a fridge and then finally into Ahmed Rushdie in order to review Amjay’s “Udhabaani” You can’t help but admire a man like Amjay: the man is determination and bullheadedness personified. Not deterred in the least after creating some, if not all, of the worst and financially unsuccessful “movies” ever made in Maldives, he continues to bombard the

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-27125269682473732812009-02-17T21:49:00.006+05:002009-02-18T07:09:44.748+05:00

by Ahmed Satellite, reporting from RomeThe President of Maldives Mohamed Nasheed arrived in Rome on Monday on an official visit, where he immediately declared that the rumours he had heard were true and that all roads in fact did lead to Rome.“It’s amazing really,” he said, wide-eyed to the point of being in danger of losing his eyeballs. “I didn’t believe it at first but we took all these twists

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-28559197783384913572009-01-15T23:00:00.002+05:002009-01-15T23:13:27.774+05:00

by Mohamed Headset The Maldives Police Service has placed round the clock surveillance on the solution to Maldives' problems and the President of the Islamic Democratic Party, Umar Naseer. Police began the unenviable task on Wednesday after some really stupid people began to send death threats to Umar 'The Solution' Naseer. According to a Police Officer assigned to the "suicide squad" around

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-55990733853182450782008-10-29T09:10:00.000+05:002008-10-29T09:15:51.257+05:00

by Ali AntennaAt a somber ceremony held at the Presidential Palace early this morning, President of Maldives, His Excellency Maumoon Abdul Gayoom, bid a fond adieu to his beautiful swimming pool inside his Presidential Palace.The ceremony, to which only Bakhabaru reporters were granted exclusive access, began shortly after the new sun rose in Aneh Dhivehiraajje, after it had set with a very final

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-55224007394123260222008-10-26T07:59:00.003+05:002008-10-26T09:12:25.988+05:00

by Ahmed Satellite A violent confrontation between MDP and DRP supporters took place near the Male' fish market area during some time or other and numerous fishes were injured and damaged in the incident. Witnesses and Bakhabaru reporters at the scene agreed that they were surprised that a fight had not broken out there earlier as it was such a perfect place for arguments to escalate into

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-69840311535498150262008-10-21T16:07:00.005+05:002008-10-21T16:20:29.860+05:00

By Aishath Antenna After going into a collective huddle following reports by various parties that the indelible marker used by the Elections Commission officials during the October 8th elections did not work as expected, the Elections Commission has finally emerged to reveal their brilliant solution to the dilemma.At a special demonstration arranged especially for the benefit of Bakhabaru

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-90631197542225036862008-10-14T07:51:00.004+05:002008-10-14T08:04:23.942+05:00

By iShath Shweeeetalk The Ishlaaaamic Democratic Party’sh preshidental candidate Umar Nasheeeer hash announshed that he would shtage a pouting shtrike through da rest of da election rather then endorshe MDP’sh shtupid candidate Anni (aka teeny weeeny man with very bad dresh shenshe, no shtyle and zero charishma).“I don’t like either of them,” Umar muttersh, grumblesh, retortsh, shnapsh, while

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-22633067088514718252008-09-29T13:38:00.005+05:002008-09-30T00:36:05.994+05:00

by Ali AntennaIncumbent President Maumoon Abdul Gayoom’s lifelong dream of becoming taller was given a powerful nation-sized jolt recently with the announcement of a campaign to help him reach ‘new heights’.Speaking exclusively to Bakhabaru reporters, who considered themselves to be pretty exclusive too, President Gayoom said that despite having lived for several centuries on Earth, his lifelong

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-7217493718185929102008-09-17T00:45:00.003+05:002008-09-17T00:54:58.280+05:00

by Ahmed Satellite In an exclusive interview with Bakhabaru recently, Adhaalath Party Leader Sheikh Willawalla bin Bang confessed to having second and third thoughts about endorsing gazillionaire, paleontologist (or something close starting with a P, at least) and all-around rich guy who is a whole economy unto his own, Gasim “The Drill” Ibrahim, for President in the elections that is being

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-30841987554599692692008-08-20T13:10:00.005+05:002008-08-20T14:45:41.331+05:00

Alright people, settle down now. We’re here to announce the Bakhabaru Winners & Sinners list. What in the name of blessed Sappe is a “Bakhabaru Winners & Sinners” list, you say?Well, to be absolutely clear, we’re not sure either. Let’s just get on with it, shall we. Maybe we’ll figure it out by the end. Alright then: by the left, quick march.First of all the Winners:After much nitpicking and

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-35069170402503445152008-08-03T10:12:00.004+05:002008-08-03T10:17:55.769+05:00

You've asked for it, you've demanded it. You've wanted and lusted for it and threatened serious bodily harm to yourself and others if we did not bring it back. Fear not, inconsiderate readers, for we have heard your cries and consistent wailing and decided to put you out of your misery. Ok, ok, so no one demanded it. No one's even missed, noticed it was gone or even mentioned it but we're

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-78415300482597481382008-07-30T12:13:00.006+05:002008-07-30T12:25:44.185+05:00

by Ahmed SatelliteShortly after announcing to a shocked Maldivian public that he had lost his marbles, President Chotey unrolled a short list allegedly containing the names of those who he suspected had stolen it. President Chotey made the startling announcements on his private TV channel yesterday.“I haven’t lost it, as the media are so fond of insinuating,” President Chotey said. “They have

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-15324207294892470172008-07-24T22:19:00.002+05:002008-07-24T23:31:43.063+05:00

Wow! Can you believe it? Almost two years since we started the Bakhabaru News Service and there are still people who are no life enough to read what we write. That's just amazing, and I don't mean people being able to read what we write. Our font isn't that bad.So aneehoo... where was I? ah yes, the list. We've been too busy (cough* lazy*cough) to write any new news or even old news for a while

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-85810538769934971602008-07-19T14:19:00.002+05:002008-07-19T14:32:03.218+05:00

Oh my, how the mighty have fallen. I knew the advertising wars between Dhiraagu and Wataniya had become really ridiculous, but now it’s become quite tasteless too. Taking a ‘Superman Returns’ poster and doing a really lame ‘paint-over’ job over it in Photoshop and calling it an advertisement is a new low, even for Dhiraagu. Were they really hoping no one would see through the amateurish Photoshop

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-67193588067128477232008-07-07T23:24:00.002+05:002008-07-08T09:31:10.010+05:00

Bakhabaru lost two of its “greatest assets” in one fell swoop during Sunday night’s mission to review Nahula’s latest movie ‘Yoosuf’, according to Bakhabaru Editor-in-Chief Ali Antenna.“This is a shocking and tragic loss for the Bakhabaru team,” Ali Antenna said in an email he wrote to all the staff at Bakhabaru but neglected to send, possibly due to being overcome with grief. “It will cost us

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-51703732539995357982008-07-06T10:13:00.007+05:002008-07-06T10:24:33.066+05:00

If there's one thing that can be said about Bakhabaru reporters, it's that they don't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. They don't know the meaning of sesquipedalian or dysania either and are a little fuzzy about a few other four-letter words but ‘fear’ is something they have yet to come across in a dictionary – owing mostly to the fact that they never bother to look into one and because for

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-85763024167158427992008-06-12T18:13:00.003+05:002008-06-12T18:21:07.275+05:00

by Ahmed SatelliteTaking their cue from the local gangsters who recently held a news conference at Dharubaaruge to let the public know that they were all essentially just good guys caught up in bad situations, local pedophiles have also banded together and are organizing a similar event at Dharubaaruge. The leaders of the as yet unnamed group sat down with several reporters from Bakhabaru to

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-84208786976735811292008-05-26T10:15:00.003+05:002008-05-26T10:23:22.732+05:00

by Mohamed HeadsetNot to be outdone by Steven Spielberg and his latest Indiana Jones movie, President Chotey launched his own potential blockbuster titled “President Chotey and the Master Plan of Drug Control” at a ceremony held at the FHS some days back. He highlighted the phrase “Master Plan of Drug Control” by using air-quotes. The “Master Plan” (not air-quotes, real ones this time) aims to

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-36194784312705793302008-05-16T12:36:00.006+05:002008-05-16T13:01:11.718+05:00

The two leads from the popular TV reality show ‘Supernatural’, Sam and Dean Winchester, have arrived in Makunudhoo Island in Maldives to hunt the jinn or jinns responsible for the evil that has been plaguing the island for the past few weeks, fearless Bakhabaru reporter Ahmed Satellite in Makudhoo has reported fearlessly. Sam and Dean were invited based on their background in being involved in

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-21917722258606077872008-04-28T14:56:00.003+05:002008-04-28T15:10:44.918+05:00

The gate to the new Playboy Mansion in Male' has the Playboy logo emblazoned in the middle of a pink star surrounded by a white circle. Hugh Hefner, the always young at heart dirty old multi-billionaire, has opened a brand new Playboy Mansion in Male'. Not surprisingly, already there have been complains from several factions in Male' about the age of the girls who are allowed access into the

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-54098057877243413952008-04-26T13:41:00.004+05:002008-04-26T13:46:10.284+05:00

A man wearing an ugly-yellow-tie won the first MDP primary held in the country by a landslide, much to the surprise of the man wearing the ugly-yellow-tie and standing next to the landslide. “It’s so unexpected!” the man wearing the ugly-yellow-tie told Bakhabaru reporters in an exclusive interview with someone or other. “I have said it before and I say it again that I have no interest in being

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-31899932091305573382008-04-08T23:06:00.003+05:002008-04-08T23:26:42.500+05:00

Stolen from Haveeru OnlineThere were no two ways about it: I had to go see Amjay's new movie “The Guest House: Room 201”. For one thing, it was written and directed by Amjay. He’s like the Uwe Boll of Maldives, notorious for making really, really bad movies even by Maldives’ standards, which is about as low as anything could possibly get without getting buried. For another, judging from the ads

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-39488903583631972742008-03-20T13:37:00.005+05:002008-03-20T13:45:37.989+05:00

Hard at campaigning but still willing to offer his two cents worth to anyone within earshot, self proclaimed tough guy and prospective future President of Maldives Umar Naseer offered a strategy by which the gang violence in Male’ could be brought to an immediate and screeching halt. In an exclusive interview with Bakhabaru reporters, who are always more than eager to listen to any words of

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-90905278729611273002007-11-29T14:06:00.000+05:002007-11-29T14:09:06.305+05:00

The ruling Dhivehi Rayyithunge Party (DRP) has suggested some more amendments to the constitution following its move to drop its block on Hassan Saeed's presidential bid. Presidential Spokesperson Mundhu, who had just come back after attending a crash course conducted by Mini Van News to teach him to assess the emotional state of President Gayoom, said that the President had consulted

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-13263690874623684812007-11-24T18:50:00.000+05:002007-11-24T18:51:27.558+05:00

by Ali AntennaMini Van News, the third most reliable source (after Bakhabaru and DO) to reliably assess the emotional state of President Maumoon Abdul Gayoom at any given time, has agreed to share their experiences and provide tips to Presidential Spokesperson Mundhu in an effort to make his job easier.Responding to a letter to Mini Van News sent in by Mundhu in which he had expressed that his

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-74867991603410579842007-11-08T23:14:00.000+05:002007-11-08T23:24:13.034+05:00

Pre-news brought to you by Ahmed Satellite from the future Delays in the launching of the new Bakhabaru website is due to lazy writers who want to strike but are too lazy to do so, Ali Antenna the Editor of the online news site will tell Bakhabaru reporters early tomorrow morning. The relatively unknown, insignificant and popular local news website Bakhabaru Blog was due to be upgraded to

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-23891721078746105592007-10-17T16:53:00.000+05:002007-10-17T17:05:02.268+05:00

Mohamed Headset, reporting from inside an Apple.A local teen who refers to himself in the third-person has, after weeks of trying, finally managed to crack his iPhone after unintentionally upgrading it to firmware version 1.1.1.The firmware upgrade that Apple had released on 27 September contained a critical security patch with code that disabled phones which had been hacked to accept third-party

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-6937273921171918672007-10-12T08:39:00.002+05:002007-10-13T01:24:56.180+05:00

Yes that's right, we've set November 1st as the launch date for our new site. But can we really do it? Well, looks like it. And as for the name, despite a lot of us liking the 'Worthless shit, morons' submitted by 'anonymous' most of you seem to think that we should keep the old name. So looks like the old one stays (even though I personally think 'Worthless shit, morons' very elegantly captures

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-76063954289439945892007-10-08T12:32:00.000+05:002007-10-08T18:52:34.215+05:00

by Aishath Antenna, reporting from under a veil in HimandhooPhoto: HaveeruFashion Police arrived yesterday in North Ari Atoll Himandhoo to root out bad and outdated fashion-mongers in the island, following reports of crimes against fashion.The Assistant Commissioner of Fashion Police, Abdulla Riyaz, yesterday said that they had been forced to mount an intervention on the island due to several

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-62654715928363630822007-09-27T09:43:00.000+05:002007-09-27T09:47:52.297+05:00

Just a quick update to let you all know that the Bakhabaru website is almost finished and that we are in the final stages before we go online. Just the small matter of a name remains... should we have a new one or go with the old one? Decisions, decisions...Due credit to anyone who can come up with something better... anyone up for it?

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-50412307901970283552007-08-30T08:02:00.000+05:002007-08-30T08:22:43.225+05:00

by Mohamed Headset in London, Maldives A reader sent in the following photos of sensational local headlines after seeing some of the headlines we had featured in the "Latest Intriguing Headlines" column on Bakhabaru. I must say our headlines pale in comparison to these gems.Did anyone else know about this? Turns out that we've been eating cement for a while and now we're running out of it. Hope

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-69631178333142229782007-08-29T17:49:00.000+05:002007-08-29T17:59:14.917+05:00

by Ahmed Satellite in London‘Cyborg’ Abdulla Mahir has agreed to allow MDP doctors and technicians to detach the cybernetic projectile launcher built into his arm before he goes before magistrates in Central London to face charges of taking egg-shots at President Gayoom. Cyborg Mahir, as he is popularly known, recently made headlines when he tried to shoot the Maldivian President with his

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-37213207131613127112007-08-26T19:52:00.000+05:002007-08-26T19:58:53.897+05:00

by Ahmed Satellite, reporting happily from the sceneThe Maldives Police Service has arrested a suspicious looking bottle lurking under some trees near Dharubaaruge and accused it of being in possession of alcohol at the time of arrest. According to a media official from the Maldives Police Service, the suspicious looking bottle that had been taken into Police custody last night had been

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-28504273288255834392007-08-18T20:36:00.000+05:002007-08-21T16:09:03.243+05:00

Voting in the referendum to decide whether incumbent President Maumoon Abdul Gayoom will remain a President or will have to change his designation to Prime Minister in the near future has officially closed. According to Minivan News the results will be announced from Daabaruge when counting is done. This might take a while as many people are still trying to find out where the hell this apparently

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-39870903582901246812007-08-17T15:53:00.002+05:002010-10-19T19:55:21.263+05:00

by Abdulla Bluetooth “MUNDHOO! Where are you, Mundhooo?”“Coming, O beloved master!”“Mundhu, quick! Give me your hands!”“Here you go, O mighty hand holder!”“Thanks… AAATCHHOOOO!!!”“Er… why did you sneeze into my hands, O sultan of the irritated nostrils?”“You know I always put a hand over my mouth and nose when I sneeze.”“Right you are, sir.”“So what’s on the agenda today, faithful Mundhu?”“Well

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-55636852446726304742007-08-15T16:08:00.000+05:002007-08-15T16:12:29.675+05:00

by Mohamed HeadsetThe Environment Research Centre of Maldives has unveiled a revolutionary, and quite possibly its final, plan to discover the truth about the developing crack in the Male’ house reef that has gotten a few locals (at least 3 or 4) worried. In an interview with Haveeru Daily, the Centre’s Assistant Director General Ahmed Saleem said that he had seen some pictures of the crack and

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-24284280991537304792007-08-13T16:03:00.000+05:002007-08-13T16:14:21.365+05:00

by Ali Antenna I’ve been getting a few emails from readers asking me where Bakhabaru stands on the two systems of governments that are on offer in the coming referendum. I thought I’d answer the question here. To be honest, I don’t care what system of government (SOG) is implemented in the country. There I said it, I don’t care. It makes no difference to me what political party comes into power

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-65490998157016256722007-08-09T13:35:00.000+05:002007-08-09T13:40:44.737+05:00

by Mohamed HeadsetFollowing the news that the names of many dead Maldivians had been included in the electoral register for the August 18 referendum, the Elections Commissioner has said that the dead Maldivians will just have to vote. “I’m sorry but there’s no help for it,” said Elections Commissioner KD Ahmed Maniku speaking at a press conference held to address the issue today. “The dead

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-63249548562053026702007-08-08T19:45:00.000+05:002007-08-08T19:48:56.269+05:00

Stolen from Evening WeeklyOriginal article by Inaya. A. ShareefCame across this article while searching through Haveeru website. This is funny as heck. Never knew Haveeru had it in them to put stuff like this up. Or maybe they didn't get it... in which case it makes it even funnier.Don’t stop me if you’ve heard this one before… trust me, this is different. And it really happened… and continues to

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-72962647118984481902007-08-01T19:05:00.000+05:002007-08-02T17:21:11.671+05:00

by Ali Antenna and Ahmed Satellite, reporting because they can’t get any… The upcoming referendum to decide what kind of government the country is going to have is just around the corner and quite typically, locals are already expressing their disgust at the shortage of Nizams available for them to vote for. The referendum will decide whether the Maldives will have a Barulamaanee Nizam or a

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-64012573800485990822007-07-31T23:54:00.000+05:002007-07-31T23:59:56.843+05:00

Stolen from Haveeru Daily (Yeah we are a lazy bunch; get over it)Originally written by Ahmed RushdieWho’d have believed this day would have come so quickly? Not me definitely… yet here I am, ready to take back every mocking, sarcastic, mean thing I’ve ever said about the so-called Dhivehi film industry. Since that probably entails everything I’ve ever said about the industry, there’s undoubtedly

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-81141882195075693112007-07-17T07:16:00.000+05:002007-07-17T07:36:40.788+05:00

It's been a while since we last updated, we know that... so you guys stop emailing us with stuff like "It's been __ days since you updated you lazy bunch of retards! When are you going to post up more stuff?" We know we are a lazy bunch and we know we hardly ever update nowadays (we didn't know about the retards, though) but just to make it clear, we don't owe it to anyone to update. We update if

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-45698835733708807512007-06-29T19:46:00.000+05:002007-06-29T19:56:15.930+05:00

By Ali Antenna In a completely unexpected, unforeseen and startling move that has taken the Maldives by storm and dropped jaws all over the country, incumbent President Maumoon Abdul Gayoom has revealed that he would be the presidential candidate representing the Dhivehi Rayyithunge Party (DRP) in the Presidential Elections to be held in 2008. The President made the announcement while

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-11986056292546329552007-06-23T16:04:00.000+05:002007-06-23T16:12:02.607+05:00

by Mohamed HeadsetFans of Umar Naseer, self-proclaimed ‘tough cop’ and attention-whoring leader of the Islamic Democratic Party (IDP), rejoiced once again as the attention deprived President of IDP unveiled his new plan to draw more attention to himself a few days ago. In Umar’s latest bid to get the Maldivian public to pay more attention to him, the charismatic leader, who is both loved and

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-31888315376516797072007-06-09T22:54:00.001+05:002007-06-09T22:59:37.810+05:00

by Mohamed HeadsetMuch controversy is raging on about the ‘experts’ and ‘analysts’ that have voiced their opinions on Maldives #1 spoof site, Dhivehi Observer or DO, as it is popularly known on some of the uninhabited planets of the solar system. Who are these mysterious and unnamed analysts who seem to know everything about nothing and nothing about everything? How did His Gloriousness Mr Sappe

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-64126785989146998762007-05-23T20:19:00.000+05:002007-05-23T20:33:50.181+05:00

Ah, at last! Someone missed us! I was thinking no one was paying attention to me and I was feeling a little bit like what Anni must probably feel when he hasn't been beaten up and arrested by the Police for some time: left out, I mean.Anyway, since at last at least one person noticed that we hadn't been answering to the comments left for our articles we have decided that you do miss our comments

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-69334390600226318712007-05-17T20:01:00.000+05:002007-05-17T20:03:09.751+05:00

The discovery of the blackened and charred remains of a foreign fishing vessel, found floating in the lagoon of Male harbor area behind Atolhuvehi Detention Centre, deepened when the sole surviving crew member started babbling in an unknown language upon awaking from a coma. When the foreign fishing vessel was first found by another local fishing vessel, there had been substantial evidence that

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-48267731887224050672007-05-16T14:11:00.000+05:002007-05-16T14:36:19.714+05:00

By Ahmed Satellite, reporting while doing it!The Ministry of Information has slapped local cable operator company, J-Sat, with a Rf 2,500 fine for broadcasting images that the Ministry deemed pornographic yet ‘unsatisfying’. This has led to a war of words between the two, with the cable operator now demanding a guideline defining how much porn they are allowed to air per week and at what times.

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-77854243461269779792007-05-12T17:30:00.000+05:002007-05-12T17:46:09.392+05:00

PHOTO #3As lazy as we know our readers to be, they have on occasion managed to come through for us when it comes to coming up with funny captions to the pix that our readers send us. So get your brain in gear and send in your witty captions to this picture. There's plenty prizes for everyone so don't start chanting for our resignations just yet.

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-35867174620506699242007-05-07T14:21:00.000+05:002007-05-07T14:33:18.130+05:00

Well, the votes are in and here it's time to announce the winners of the second Bakhabaru Funny Caption Contest.The runner up is... "adam: Get your mind out of the gutter." - by Pissed at adam the pervert And the winner is... (drumroll, please)"Too late, the officials from The Gate realized that the front of the skirt was not the best place to splash their corporate name on!" - by

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-51024989686005443902007-05-02T18:59:00.000+05:002007-05-02T19:06:26.879+05:00

Ahmed Satellite, reporting to you miles away from the actionBakhabaru has just suddenly, for no apparent reason, found out that the Maldives Police Service are steadfastly refusing to do an autopsy on 84-year-old Ismailbe despite mounting pressure from the opposition party and Maldivian Demi-god, Sappe, who have repeatedly called for one to find out the 'real' reason why Ismailbe was arrested by

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-3217702901635015932007-04-28T18:12:00.000+05:002007-04-28T18:18:51.827+05:00

PHOTO #2Send in your funny captions for the above picture. Someone somewhere desperately needs a caption so that he can finally get some sleep. Help out a fellow blogger, will ya.

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-71114394706401447872007-04-23T18:20:00.000+05:002007-04-24T10:12:40.072+05:00

by Mohamed HeadsetFollowing the preliminary autopsy report* released by the Sri Lankan coroner in the case of Hussain Solah, who was found dead in the Male harbor earlier this month, the MDP has expressed distaste at the sheer ineptitude and unreliability of the Maldives Police Service. “It’s downright disgusting,” said Mohamed Nasheed (Anni), MDP Chairperson. “The one time we actually had

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-48402056939227932482007-04-23T07:15:00.000+05:002007-05-07T14:35:16.376+05:00

Well, after several hours of discussion with the Bakhabaru Team we have finally come up with a Winner and the Runner-up for the Funny Caption Contest #1. It wasn't easy and since we are very democracy minded here at Bakhabaru we decided to vote for it. In respect to the fact that we are living in Maldives, my vote counted as three votes however. Anyway, here are the winning captions.Runner-up:

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-51772301733250356542007-04-22T20:05:00.000+05:002007-04-22T20:15:30.962+05:00

...and we're back! See, we're not dead.Thanks to all those who wrote to us requesting an explanation of what had happened to us. You know who you are.To answer your questions: No, the Haabees hasn't put us all under a huge black veil; No, the government hasn't killed us all and dumped us into the harbour; and No, we are not Michael Jackson (??!!!) or Will Jordan (whoever that is!). We've just (

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-86902183331094410952007-04-12T18:37:00.000+05:002007-04-12T21:51:42.516+05:00

Welcome to the Bakhabaru Funny Caption Contest!PHOTO #1Send in a funny caption for the photo above and secure yourself a chance to win big prizes. This is no way implies that you will win any prizes, just that there will be a chance of that happening someday, somewhere, somehow. So hurry and send in your funny captions to ensure that you get a chance to win big.PS: If you have any pictures that

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-4291006614287025812007-04-12T06:40:00.000+05:002007-04-12T18:36:43.597+05:00

An exhaustively inefficient report by Ahmed Rushdie,Borrowed from EWIt’s practically tradition now for us Maldivian movie goers to complain that there are no more funny movies being made in the Maldives, or that the comedians of yesteryear could sweep the floor with their modern day counterparts. And they would be right… for the most part. It’s true that the comedies of late haven’t enjoyed the

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-61444063623547198482007-04-05T06:05:00.000+05:002007-04-05T07:52:39.609+05:00

Ali Antenna, reporting from inside a rice pudding bowl, Kenereege, Male, MaldivesFollowing a particularly nasty incident with a very hot plate of spaghetti, now famous all over Maldives as “Anni’s Spaghetti Incident”, the Chairperson of the Maldivian Democratic Party, Mohamed Nasheed (Anni) has declared that there was no other choice but for the Police Head Chef to resign from his post

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-38631071435296106022007-04-04T16:05:00.000+05:002007-04-04T20:44:19.073+05:00

Aishath Antenna, reporting from New DelhiPresident Maumoon Abdul Gayoom has entered into the annals of history books as the only South Asian person to have won the coveted “Best President Award” consecutively for an unprecedented seventh time at the 14th SAARC Awards held at New Delhi. The SAARC Awards show is held more or less every year or so to give South Asian leaders a chance to

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-64559190672466529502007-04-01T18:38:00.000+05:002007-04-03T08:16:47.079+05:00

by Mohamed HeadsetPolice have captured a cross-dressing male kidnapper along with his victim, who in a surprising twist turned out to be a willing accomplice, Haveeru Daily has reported. The incident occurred in Seenu atoll Hithadhoo and the both kidnapper and his victim (or accomplice and lover if the Police report is to be believed) were found inside an abandoned house. The girl (the real one),

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-20273000557527775172007-04-01T08:48:00.000+05:002007-04-01T08:59:36.158+05:00

by Ahmed SatelliteFor the first time in Maldives, a local hospital has unveiled plans to hire psychics, to be made available for consultation at the hospital for a limited time. According to a press release issued by the Indhira Gandhi Memorial Hospital in Male, Maldives, the hospital had decided to introduce psychic consultation due to the mounting pressure from customers who have asked for such

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-18598620154765224002007-03-31T13:58:00.000+05:002007-04-01T18:43:13.844+05:00

Imagine our surprise when one of our article was linked to on a blog about, of all things, Aviation News. Under the heading "Strange, but True Airport News" the blog (Aviation Week) quoted us about the article on expatriates impersonating famous billionaires in an attempt to smuggle in religious items into the Maldives. If you think we're surprised, wait till the Customs and Airports hear about

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-54620408918880680312007-03-29T15:19:00.000+05:002007-03-29T16:11:23.585+05:00

We've seen some of the more popular online sites responding to reader email in their Editorials and we've been itching to try that for some time now. However we never had the chance since we only get 20 to 30 hits per day (sometimes 20 hits per week! sad, we know). But that all changed when we were once linked on Dhivehi Observer for our article on President Gayoom vowing to bring Dictator

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-75642960684641068812007-03-28T16:14:00.000+05:002007-03-28T16:20:33.243+05:00

This is probably a huge departure from the kind of news we usually publish but since we here at Bakhabaru are such big fans of the series, we couldn't help but post these covers when a fellow reader forwarded it to us. These pictures were apparently released by UK publisher Bloomsbury only a few minutes ago and we offer it here for our readers to enjoy. Well, those who like the series anyway.

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-31729383913707008412007-03-28T13:06:00.000+05:002007-03-28T22:52:22.129+05:00

by Aishath AntennaAs reports of Sheikh Fareed's quick departure from the MDP spread like wildfire in Male, Bakhabaru reporter Aishath Antenna went undercover in black ninja garb and managed to infiltrate Sheikh Fareed's harem to get the real scoop. Here are some notable excerpts from her interview with the “Enlightened One”: Aishath: What’s all this about you quitting MDP? What went wrong?

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-81699831255665877892007-03-24T19:08:00.000+05:002007-03-24T19:11:59.539+05:00

By Mohamed Headset Maldives Customs Services have revealed to Bakhabaru that an alarming number of expatriate workers coming into the country had been impersonating British business tycoon Sir Philip Green and other famous billionaires “for some inexplicable reason”. According to Customs they have by now apprehended 7 expatriates since becoming aware of the situation last Wednesday. They also

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-52603825323500265252007-03-23T07:15:00.000+05:002007-03-23T08:18:30.513+05:00

By Mohamed Headset Play-Acting President of the MeloDrama Party, Ibrahim Hussain Zaki’s ‘License to Titillate’ was revoked Tuesday evening at Hulhule Airport as he was returning to the country after conquering several international melodrama festivals and reducing ecstatic audiences to tears and jelly with his overwhelming performances. Typically, the Play-Acting President, famous equally for

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-2342868634211779962007-03-20T02:30:00.000+05:002007-03-20T18:02:39.332+05:00

Ahmed Satellite , reporting from inside Landaa Giraavaru Resort lagoon, Maldives.Maldivian archeologists working in association with the National Museum and the National Centre for Linguistic and Historical Research have uncovered a ‘bonanza’ of evidence to support a formerly rejected theory that Maldives isn't a 100% Muslim country anymore, a fact that the Government’s tourism brochures and

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-88640141927825428832007-03-13T23:58:00.000+05:002007-03-24T22:14:39.255+05:00

by Ahmed Satellite, Male', MaldivesIn a move that is sure to further muddy up the already cloudy waters flooding the political landscape of the Maldives, incumbent President, His Excellency President Maumoon Abdul Gayoom has today vowed to bring the Maldivian Dictator, more commonly known as Golhaabo, to justice “no matter what it takes!”In an exclusive interview with Bakhabaru, President Gayoom,

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-63017298492692389082007-03-06T07:48:00.001+05:002007-03-20T08:11:02.814+05:00

Ali Antenna, reporting from outside Olympus Sauna, Male, MaldivesSelf-proclaimed visionary and one of the humblest (also self-proclaimed) men currently working in the local film industry, Tedry (Mohamed Niyaz) has lost more than 5 kilos by the end of the controversial Dhivehi Film Awards held last Saturday night in the sweltering heat of Olympus theatre. Bakhabaru reporters were able to get a few

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-86844150835906307702007-03-01T14:48:00.000+05:002007-03-20T08:12:12.744+05:00

Ali Antenna, reporting from Glasglow, ScotlandThe apparently omniscience editor of fellow spoof-news (but infinitely more popular) website, Dhivehi Observer, has been crowned with a set of Who's Who tomes, Minivan News has reported.Bakhabaru reporters stumbled over themselves to be the first to get a first hand comment from the self-exiled editor, Ahmed Moosa (Sappe'), but it was Ali Antenna who

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-38209969824554054682007-03-01T09:11:00.001+05:002007-03-23T07:14:50.997+05:00

In a move that will definitely get mixed reviews from Maldivians, the government has decided to postpone the distribution of vast amount of money they have hoarded in the wake of tsunami as foreign aid, to build cinemas in the islands of the atolls. Currently, not many islands can boast of having cinemas, or any buildings for that matter, as everything on some islands were totally destroyed

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-39449616304826805132007-02-20T06:04:00.000+05:002007-03-25T23:13:43.049+05:00

Ahmed Satellite, reporting from Jumhooree Maidhan, MaldivesReliable sources have confirmed to Bakhabaru that four people have been fired from the Department of Immigration Emigration of Maldives for sporting long beards and veils. Normally, wearing the veil and sporting huge hairy beards that would make Hagrid proud isn't such a problem in Government offices but this is an unusual case. The four

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-51015461044935612702007-02-07T15:16:00.000+05:002007-03-16T20:00:55.179+05:00

Originally published in Evening WeeklyArticle by Ahmed RushdieEver since I saw Seezan’s ‘short’ movie, ‘E Reyge Fahun’ (After that Night) at Olympus theatre, and nearly killed myself laughing at the scene where ‘Dr. Zeenath’ diagnoses one of her mental patients who sees and talks to jinnis as ‘Personally Disordered’, I have been looking forward to seeing his next unintentionally funny movie. In

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-46989950105504217462007-01-15T19:20:00.001+05:002007-03-25T15:23:51.146+05:00

Aishath Antenna reporting from Male, MaldivesMaldivians are a very fashionable and trendy people. Or perhaps what one should say is, Maldivians are a very gullible people. Most of them have no sense of fashion but will follow blindly anything new going around. One does not need much convincing really. No, this is not being harsh, but it is the harsh reality.When the Hindhi soaps hit town,

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-79231461476721062202007-01-07T18:16:00.000+05:002007-01-07T23:10:43.916+05:00

Aishath Antenna reporting from Hulhumale Lagoon, MaldivesIf you think “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” was far fetched, think again. In the same manner as the dolphins left the Earth at the first sign of trouble in “The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy”, the tuna population of the Maldives seems have called it a day and are now on their way to greener, or at least more friendly,

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443379642320661948.post-23379326995328524252006-11-30T18:20:00.000+05:002007-03-08T14:39:22.630+05:00

stolen from Evening Weekly, the only weekly English magazine in MaldivesI’ve heard that politics could be a little overwhelming for those who aren’t well versed in the finer complexities of the political game but the recent developments in the political arena (specifically during the start of the month of November) has left me more than a little perplexed.Like a lot of Maldivians (and strangely,

Bakhabaruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207266591793443024noreply@blogger.com1