Himandhoo School undergoing major changes

by Ismail Network

The Himandhoo School board of North Ari Atoll Himandhoo has decided to change their school uniform as the attire currently worn by students did not reflect the image the school wanted to portray. While at it, they have also decided to eliminate the need for students to buy so many books on so many subjects by condensing their whole syllabus into one book.

”It would be far more useful to read and recite our translation of the Holy Quran than reading all those other useless infidel books,” Chairperson Abdulla Jameel said. “Everything the students need to learn to have a happy and successful afterlife can be taught using just one book.”

Jameel said the decision was made after a meeting with the Parent Teacher Association (PTA) and the school’s teachers. He went on to say that the decision had nothing to do with religion and that anyone who said otherwise was a big fat liar.

”In our school we wear a uniform designed specially for Himandhoo Madharusa, but there is doubt over whether our school’s name is Himandhoo Madharusa or Himandhoo School,” he explained. “We believe it is Himandhoo Madharusa, and the uniform currently being worn by the students are not suitable for those attending a Madharusa. For one thing we can’t see the boys’ ankles and the girls’ faces and hands are clearly visible. Shocking, I know. I have to take cold showers every few hours.” He further said that they were considering changing the design of the school badge too.

”We asked the Education Ministry to clarify, but those infidels there said that the school was really called Himandhoo School, which is totally unacceptable to our students, their parents and the teachers,” he said. “But if what they allege is true, then it means the uniform being worn by the students and subjects taught now are for Himandhoo School, not Himandhoo Madharusa. Therefore, we believe it is our responsibility, nay, our duty to make the necessary changes for the good of the school and the education system of the country.”
Jameel also responded to the criticism they had been receiving for putting a stop to singing the school song during the assembly.

”Earlier there was all that hullabaloo about our school song, but it’s not something we can correct,” he said. “We came to know the school’s name was Himandhoo School but we only have the audio recording of the school song we used to sing. There’s no way we can edit that song now. It’s already on the tape! We can’t change the words and sing it again; we don’t even know who sang the original song. Clearly, we had no other option but to stop singing the song entirely.”

Jameel said that they recently begun discussions with the Education Ministry to hire demolition experts from nearby countries to teach at their school so that the students would be well equipped with the necessary skills to hasten their own journeys to the afterlife once they graduated.